If They Gave Oscars For One-Liners ...

Then this would surely be a worthy recipient.

On A Whim And A Prayer ...

Apparently this is news fit to print. You may have another opinion:

Guitarist Carlos Santana says he wants to set up a church in Hawaii when he reaches the age of 67. Attention Hawaii, you have 6 years to go. Find a sports shop that's doing a clearance on running shoes. You have been warned.

Morning Glory ...

This morning I awoke with an epiphany - which is what men of my age wake up with instead of an erection.

A Real Aso ...

The new Japanese Prime Minister is called 'Taro Aso'.  And here he is.

Now, say the following in a Japanese accent:

"That new Prime Minister is a real Aso ..."

See what I mean?

Tosser Of The Month ...

The cigar-smoking driver of the Range Rover Discovery 376 QRE 75.

It was such as waste to spend so much cash on the car but then forget to buy the one which comes fitted with indicators.